Short is sweet.

There’s a reason those Biff & Chip books have sentences of just five or six words. It’s much easier to read and understand short sentences.

And whilst your brochure or website copy will be more advanced than a first reader book, the same principle applies. Keep it short and your reader is much more likely to absorb your messages.

There are two ways to shorten copy:

1.      Cut out the waffle

2.      Make a long sentence two shorter ones (and cut out the waffle)

The Plain English campaign suggests that 20 words is a good sentence length and you should look to edit anything significantly longer. Drayton Bird, the marketing guru reckons 8 words is the easiest sentence to take in. He recommends aiming for a 16 word average.

This is especially important with instructions. Here’s an example taken from a well-known financial company (let’s call them Tansander) followed by my edited version.

“If you're planning a trip abroad, especially outside the EU, and want to make sure your debit / credit card works just the same as it does at home, it's advisable to contact us by sending a secure message from the online banking 'Help & contact us' tab to let us know the dates you'll be away and the countries that you'll be visiting.”

That’s 63 (count ‘em) words in one sentence. It’s not a complicated message but would still be improved with an edit.

Here’s my suggested version with two, more concise, sentences – the longest one with 22 words.

“If you're going abroad, especially outside the EU, contact us in advance and we can make sure your debit/credit card will work. Tell us your travel dates and where you’re going via secure messaging found on the Help & Contact Us tab online.”

Try to keep to one point/message per sentence.

Don’t be tempted to try and squash every point into one sentence.

What about this 66 word beauty on the home page of an accountancy firm (the names have been changed to protect the perpetrators)...

“As an established and trusted firm of accountants delivering accurate, current and cost effective compliance services in support of the business interests of successful owner managed businesses throughout the North West and the UK, ABC Accountants intent is to understand our client's needs, aims and aspirations and provide high quality advice and planning to assist them in delivering and reaching their stated personal and business goals.”

And breathe!

After a quick edit, I’d suggest something like this:

From our North West base, we work with owner managed businesses across the UK. Our clients trust us to deliver accurate, current and cost effective compliance services. Our planning and advice supports their business needs and helps them achieve their personal and business goals.

Still not the most inspiring statement but do you agree it's improved?

If you're finding it hard to use the red pen on your website/brochure/newsletter, let me know.